ma-nip-u-la-tive
adj
‘using clever, devious ways to control or influence somebody or something’
Sound familiar? Surely we all know someone who fits this description – hopefully it doesn’t match your own personality!
Attention Seeking Manipulation
Some people are born to want to be the centre of attention. And they will stop at nothing to get it.
There is always that person in class or at work who seems to have it all. They have heaps of friends and everyone wants to be his or her best buddy.
The funny thing is, these people are often really boring, self-centred and insecure and only maintain their position by manipulation.
They will choose a new best friend every other week and favour those who bow down to them and do as they are told.
These people use their good looks, money or personality to get ahead in the world and will use anyone they can to help them get to the top.
They manipulate those they feel are beneath them by using their power – giving their ‘best friend’ attention or hand me down clothes or money.
At the end of the day, these people will find that they have no real friends and will become lonely as others get wise to this manipulation.
Ultra sneaky Manipulation
Friends that talk behind your back; who needs them? But then again, we all have them!
Like slugs that come out in the rain and slime their way along the wall this type of person oozes sleaze and sneakiness from their very pores – Yuk!
Why people think they can talk behind your back and get away with it, who knows? But so many people seem to enjoy a good old gossip. They get a thrill from being the bearer of news – even if it’s news about their best friend or boyfriend/girlfriend.
The only thing you can count on with a friend like this is – if they are telling you about other people you can bet your bottom dollar that they are telling other people about you.
This is manipulation that destroys trust and friendships, all for the sake of feeling important for one minute.
Get back to the mud, slugs!
Sick-making Manipulation
There are people who know they are not good-looking, popular or intelligent and the only way they can make friends is to manipulate.
Creepy people like this tend to come to you when they think they can win a situation by using knowledge that they have – blackmail basically.
This is manipulating a situation to their advantage – but you can be sure that this kind of manipulation always fails. Blackmail is never the answer to anything. Truth as they say is the best currency.
Winners Manipulation
If you want to win a sports match or pass an exam you will try your hardest to succeed. The only way to win or pass is by sheer hard work.
But there are people who try to manipulate a situation to win. This can include bribery or cheating, both forms of manipulation.
Naughty! Get back to your homework!
Relationship Manipulation
Relationships can be tricky at the best of times and it is hard to know what is right or wrong when you are feeling a bit smoochy and lovestruck.
It is wrong however for anyone to make you feel bad about yourself, whether in the body or mind.
If you are in a relationship where your partner or caregiver makes you feel bad about yourself this is emotional abuse.
If you are in a situation where someone tries to make you do something you are uncomfortable or unsure about sexually, this is sexual abuse.
If you are hit or injured by someone who says they love you, be sure of this – that is not love.
Any of the above are all forms of manipulation. People will tell you anything to get their own way and they should not be allowed to get away with this type of behaviour.
If you are in danger in any way, please be sure that you tell someone about it – it is scary and you might have been told that no-one will believe you or that someone will not love you any more if you tell anyone.
But believe it, this is manipulation and you will always find someone to believe you. But first, you have to believe it yourself – that you are not in the wrong, the person doing it to you is.
Confused Manipulation
In parallel to the situations described above, some people lie about abuse or injury.
Men and women both go to prison for acts they are alleged to have committed when in actual fact, the crime has been lied about by the person it was supposed to have happened to.
This type of manipulation can happen if someone feels they have been mistreated or as an act of revenge.
For example, maybe a girl finds out her boyfriend doesn’t love her any more, she then might go and tell people that she has been abused by him.
The guy gets into trouble and the girl feels justified in her revenge – this is manipulation.
Hopefully the girl in the example would feel guilty and tell the truth but sometimes people end up believing their own lies – this is a form of mental health and the inability to differentiate between what is right and wrong, real and fantasy.
Harmful Manipulation
This is more than just trying to get your own way or influencing somebody to make them like you – this is a very dangerous issue.
People have even been known to injure themselves (known as Munchausen’s Syndrome) or others (Munchausen’s by proxy) to draw attention to themselves ~ this is different to attempted suicide, which is often a cry for help.
Munchausen’s Syndrome and Munchausen’s by proxy is a mental disorder. Named after Baron Munchausen, sufferers harm themselves or others time and time again and relish being admitted to hospital and all the attention that goes along with it.
It has been well documented that some caregivers actually continue to harm children when they are in hospital and these attempts at harm have luckily been caught on hidden camera by hospital staff who suspect caregivers when symptoms don’t quite add up.
Manipulating the health and safety of yourself or others is a serious problem and is something that needs to be addressed by a health care worker. If you are a sufferer yourself or know of someone who is, please seek help immediately.
Tribal Manipulation
Darryl – was manipulated by Java and Mega who played to his insecurities by giving him the part of Zoot and making him believe he was invinscible.
Ebony – was manipulated by Java and Mega into thinking she was going crazy or that she actually was the Chosen One, bride of Zoot.
Lex – manipulates everyone and everything.
Ram – manipulated people by using his disability and his intellect.
Patsy and Cloe – these two knew how to manipulate everyone when they were young and could play on their cutesiness
Salene – when vulnerable and low, Salene became manipulative when she was suffering from bulimia and then from alcoholism.
Slade – manipulated Ruby by using her affections for his own benefit.
Trudy – was manipulated by The Guardian who led her to believe that she was the Supreme Mother and of undeniable importance in the New World of Zoot.
Zandra – manipulated Ryan by playing on his affections for her to get what she wanted.