Love can strike us at any time and when it happens, boy does it happen!
Ebony is totally in love with Jay but Jay seems to be making eyes at Amber! Is Ebony imagining things or is Jay giving her mixed messages?
You think it’s simple. Someone says that they love you. They treat you well. They kiss you. They go out with you. Then they go and kiss someone else or start flirting with another person. But they still tell you that it’s you they want to be with!
You have feelings for this person. You don’t want them to leave you. You don’t want to break up with them. But what do you do?
Mixed messages. What a pain! These messages can take on many forms but the one that is supposedly the easiest to read is body language.
Body Language is studied by many people all over the world as a clue to what someone is really thinking about you.
For example, if someone is sitting with their arms folded over their chest and their legs crossed, they are most probably on the defense or are not in the least bit interested in what you have to say. They are acting in a ‘closed’ way.
Someone who is interested in what you have to say will be ‘open’. Their body language will be open. They will not have their arms across their chests, they will often lean forward to hear what you are saying to them and they will give you direct eye contact.
Body Language Trivia
It has been said by experts that 65-95% of all communication is non-verbal.
It is the sense of smell that sparks the most directly emotional response.
It is the female species that has the better sense of smell.
People are far more revealing in the questions that they ask rather than the questions that they give.
Nodding in conversation is a natural reinforcer (but don’t do it too much or you’ll end up with a headache!)
Direct eye contact displays confidence but if you stare for too long the other person will think that you’re a crazy stalker!
Body language is unconscious.
Handy hints to tell if someone is lying to you They will keep touching their face, put their hand over their mouth, look down to the left then the right and pull at their ear.
Those who are perceived as powerful use few or no hand gestures at all in conversation so if you want to appear powerful, stop flapping so much when you talk!
So, does that make it any easier for us to understand mixed messages?
Or does that just give us more mixed messages? Although the experts do claim that a lot can be learnt from body language, we would argue that sometimes you just want to get comfy and cross your legs and pull at your ears!
Perhaps the best way to figure something out is to listen to your natural instincts. That little voice inside us that tells us when something just doesn’t smell right.
If Ebony can’t handle the fact that there is some obvious chemistry between Jay and Amber, she should tackle Jay about it and listen to what he has to say.
She then has some choices to make.
She both believes what he tells her and continues her relationship with him.
Or she believes what he tells her and decides that she can’t take the risk that he will cheat on her or dump her at some stage.
Or she does not believe what he says and decides to get rid of him quick smart before she loses sleep over all of these mixed messages and churned up feelings. To remember the good times and put the rest down to experience and to leave it at that.
What will she do? What should she do? What would you do?
It’s all a lesson that most of us will go through in our lives and mixed messages don’t just involve love. We can be given mixed messages in all sorts of situations but we think that the answer is the same.
Trust your instincts and let you guide yourself. That” if you know yourself well enough to let you guide yourself. But that’s a whole different story!
Join us soon for another Worldview.