We must have all lost someone who is important to us. And if we haven’t already then it’s guaranteed that it will happen one day. It’s just one of those things that we all have to go through at stages in our lives.
The biggest thing that the inhabitants of tribeworld have had to deal with is the loss of their families and friends through the Virus and the fighting that went on and continues to go on in and around the city.
Nothing can be worse than someone you love dying. Please click here for a Worldview article that might help you if you are in this situation.
Other people lose loved ones when families break up and that is something that happens all too frequently at this time in the real world.
There are breakups in relationships too and some of us will have been through several partners before we find the ‘right one’ and even then we can still lose that person!
So, how do we cope with that?! One thing is for certain, although we might get used to life with a certain person, life will go on after that person is gone.
There will be many feelings and stages that we will go through if we break up with someone (or if we ourselves are dumped) and these feelings can be very similar to those we experience when someone dies.
We will go through anger and guilt, sadness and loneliness, helplessness and then right back to anger again! It’s not a very nice process but it is a natural one and it’s what people have been going through since the beginning of time.
The important thing is to remember that you are still alive and you have the rest of your life to live. No matter how difficult things can get or how hopeless things may seem you have to remember that you owe it to yourself to find the light at the end of the tunnel and to get up and make the most of your life!
I’m all alone!
You might not have many friends because you focused solely on your partner for so long. Perhaps all your friends know your ex and don’t want to know you anymore once there has been a breakup. Whatever happens, however bad and miserable you feel, don’t give up! Trudy got totally depressed when she found that Bray was not in love with her. So did Salene. But they had to get on with their lives and eventually they found happiness.
They went through some very dark times before they reached a good place in their lives but they both got there in the end and that’s what’s important.
They had to realize that whatever they did, however they tried to change themselves to suit Bray that he just didn’t feel the same way about them as they did about him.
They couldn’t force him to change his feelings and nor should they as Bray was his own person and had every right to love whoever he wanted.
Sometimes it’s not even a conscious choice that we make when we fall in love. You can spot someone across a room and fall for them instantly. Or you can know someone for years before you fall in love with them.
Whatever way it happens, when it does we can’t help it! And we shouldn’t be punished because of it – unless it’s against the law of course!
Time to move on
So if you are in this situation, don’t blame yourself for not matching up to your ex’s ideals because you are obviously just different people. Although you might have got on well for a while (sometimes even a period of years) people do move on and their wants and ideals change along the way.
The most important thing to learn is forgiveness. Forgive yourself if you did something to ruin the relationship (as long as you learn from your mistakes then you should have no reason to spend the rest of your life feeling guilty!).
And forgive your ex! Bitterness will only eat you up inside and cause you to fail in other relationships.
The next step is to move on. Don’t obsessively sit by the phone and wait for it to ring. Don’t look longingly at all your old photos or read through your old love-letters or sift through presents that were given to you by your ex.
This stage in your life is finished. You have some good memories and you will learn to look back on these in time. You might also have some bad memories but these will only serve as lessons for the future.
Get a life! Go out and enjoy yourself. Don’t be too eager to fall back into a relationship, learn to enjoy your own company and like yourself. If you don’t like yourself, chances are that others won’t like you either!
Don’t go back!
And whatever you do, it’s often very unwise to get back together with an ex! It is highly likely that if someone has cheated on you or treated you in a certain way that they will do it again. Yes, everyone can regret what they might have done in the past but some people just can’t help themselves and in time will do exactly the same thing to you again! So get out there and enjoy your life! It’s not easy but life is there for the living and you don’t really want to spend your whole time moping around now do you?!
Another Worldview coming soon…